Fashion Queen

Who said being black, middle-class, forty-something and in one of the most exciting jobs in the world (Not!) can’t be fabulous?

Anyway, welcome to my fashion blog. Fashion has tormented me for most of my life. I was born in the wrong year (too old),the wrong country( too poor) to the wrong parents (strict Christians) erm 41 years ago( damn! You can already see this is not going to work. I mean who wants to listen to a middle aged boring old fart?).Try to pass for 31 when I can.

Fashion has dogged me most of my life. It caught hold of me very early and wouldn’t let go.( Have prayed, done Yoga and hypnotherapy-no good)

You know one of those people who would go into a shop and instinctively head for the most expensive item in the shop while husband frantically tries to head me off. Stroke it wistfully and then let it go in horror after looking at the price tag. He is a good man really my hubby (apart from being nearly bankrupt from my numerous splurging sprees – maybe I should go shopping for a new hubby too. (TFAD-Topic for another day)

My fashion Icons?- Kimora Lee Simmons ( I mean that House!), Victoria Beckham(Honestly. Probably the only normal woman in the UK who loves her dignified silence) and anyway people only hate her because they can’t be her. The Kardashians - great fun. You know- women who don’t always look impeccable but try, don’t always get it right, don’t take themselves too seriously but are strong and progressive.

Anyway . Again. A little bit about myself. Will simply call myself B (as in Queen B). Beyonce, Bibi, Biba or Bianca. Whatever trendy black women are supposed to call themselves nowadays.

Black Middle class. Almost like being black and having corn flower blue eyes. An uneasy and startling combination.

Married, not doing too badly, nice job ( serious job.Crime to be fashionable or too well dressed), two kids and have to confess to having one of the most amazing wardrobes ever and no walk-in closet. Really must shop for a man who can provide one. The urge to go out shopping and buy more clothes is compulsive nothing more or less. I feel better already finally admitting that.

I am not rich, probably the wrong colour-black Yes I said it, black-wrong colour. Tired of people thinking it and not saying it.-TFAD. I am not latte black, Mocha black, Cappuccino black, sugar honey-coated black .Just black black. Maybe next season black will be the new white.

How did my amazing wardrobe happen? (Well very old for starters so things bought 20 years ago have started coming back into fashion !). Work very hard (Have a job and a business) . Didn’t realize how amazing wardrobe was myself but thank God for MTV Cribs, My sweet sixteen and Teenage Pads.(Will see some film stars wardrobe and house and roll around the floor in glee. Oh deep joy, I actually live in a nicer house and have better clothes than they do!)

From my wardrobe

Miu Miu Bamboo sole wedge platforms in gold.

Great colour ,Great height(4inches),comfortable to wear even if on my feet all day and best of all make nice soft clatter as I swan around at work. Drives boss insane!Instantly lose 30 pounds. Could go on and on.

RRP about $650

Paid £89.Bargain

Talking about wealthy women, have you noticed how badly dressed some of the richest women in the word are? Am I a player hater ? Hey why not. Us ordinary folk should be entitled to a bit of peevish glee about their otherwise oh so perfect lives (perfect that is until they actually look in a mirror).Think Oprah on a bad day and Helen Bonham Carter everyday. Seriously gives movie stars a bad name if that was possible.

I have a 13 year old daughter and boy of 10 going on 100.Soon to be banished to boarding school to sink or swim. Can you blame me?, He is a really sensitive soul, he once asked me to look through my knicker drawers for his missing cycling shorts(says they look like my underwear). Oh,and one long suffering husband-TFAD

Trying to have it all-Is this possible?-you know perfect husband and holding on to him, perfect figure and keeping it, good job and excelling at it. (Still trying to work this one out). Will keep you posted.

What can you expect from my blog?

I am not expecting to make any money. Happy to share for free and give out advice. But have always imagined what wardrobe will be like if I were a millionaire.

Need to prove a point. Black working women are fashionable and can get anywhere they want blah blah blah blah .Yawn!

Normal sized working girls can be fashionable and look good.(unfortunately I am not a size 8 or even size10 but an unfashionable 12. Ok Size 14 to be honest.(UK of course, not US).So can stop reading now if expecting me to be a size 4.

I will share the secrets of my wardrobe with you. There you go. All my dirty secrets in the open.

Share some of my life stories. Didn’t think I was very interesting but seems every day of my life I hear “Oh you look so amazing and your lifestyle is so exciting”(not).I might as well share it with you. Enough wild stories floating around. Like the time Hugh Grant was supposed to have bought my house. I should be so lucky!

But more seriously I will encourage and advice ordinary women who work and lead “normal” lives out there on how to take care of themselves(have experience, Job is taking care of women all day).

How to amass the best wardrobe ever for the smallest amount.Some discount stores made a good part of their fortune from me, but have perfected the art of looking seriously expensive. Ssssssssssssssssssh!. Dont tell anyone. Credibility will be seriously destroyed. I am supposed to shop in Harrods, Harvey Nichols and Selfridges-TFAD.

From my wardrobe

PH 39 Italia Pearl and Diamante encrusted bag RRP $1,800. Paid £111 pounds.

Sparkles like mad, well made and roomy.

Best interpretation of studs for older women that I could find.

And then after you have acquired this fabulous wardrobe where are you gonna wear all the fabulous clothes to?-another topic

Were you really expecting me to post a picture of myself? Long wait.

Will post pictures of outfits and maybe if lucky some of daughter wearing some (she is at that stage where she is nearly 7 feet tall and a size 2 or whatever. Hate her skinny ass. Fits into all those XS womens clothes that no normal woman can fit into. Gives me a fat complex!. (Just joking.)Nice girl. Love her to bits and anyway used to be just as skinny when I was a foetus. Got all the good genes from me and all the bad ones from Dad. You know what I mean.

OK maybe pictures of me from the back. With strongest spanks and corset I can find.

Oh all right. Some pictures of yours truly then.

Anyway hope you find it interesting and if this actually helps anyone then maybe my mother is wrong and I might make heaven after all.

Watch this space.

1^st tip-Invest in a seriously good handbag.

You have heard this so many times, why didn’t you think of it?. It’s one of the first thing people notice about you and transforms the most basic, cheapest of outfits.

Even the most skint of us can probably manage to save up for at least one or two a year. Miss one holiday, buy less clothes, rob the hubby, raid the savings.

Buy it and then carry it proudly, like you would carry the dirtiest baby nappy.Straight in front of you so no one would miss it. The bigger the better.

Best find this week

Alexander Wang Bag

50% off. Originally £840 now £420

Outnet.com

Well made and roomy. Reminds me of my Chloe Paddington. Understated. Will not make boss vomit with envy.

Pauric Sweeny bag.(Who the Hell is he anyway?)

Been looking for perfect olive bag for work.What do you Think, Great or Yuck? Even my husband likes this bag.Will make boss vomit with envy but do not care!

Originally £1,770 (yes!)Now £531

Outnet.com